There is the New Here: 24) Cambodia in Three Acts. Act 3) Marion Don’t Look at the Ark

The Temples of Angkor in Siem Reap are amazing. They’re straight-up Indian Jones shit, but with less theme music and more over-priced entrance fees. The big kahuna is Angkor Wat, a fortress that 3 million people built by hand over 50 years. Spending a few days there was something else. As you’ll see, it rocked- literally.

4/17- 4/19

I hate boring shots of tourist sites, so here’s me air-guitaring my way through the 8^th wonder of the world.

This may or may not be a picture of me hot boxing a 1000 year-old religious monument.

Well, the air-guitar idea had to come from somewhere.

Pete Townsend windmills. Classic.

I also play air bass.

I should have been a cowboy.

Another missed calling. Sigh.

This is how I’m gonna open my concert at Madison Square Garden when I finally headline there.

I also took some Where’s Waldo shots with me hidden in the temples. Can you find me hiding in 5 of the following images? The prize is you wasting 10 minutes of your life.

You just put the staff in the ground like so, wait until sunset, and voila you know the location of the ark. They’re digging in the wrong place!

Some random 13 year old French chick took this opportunity to practice some Price Is Right poses. And behind tree #2, a new car!

Angkor what?

How is it that an infant can have more personality than me after 31 years of honing my craft?

Hell, this kid has more chutzpah than anyone I know. He is either going to be the next American Idol or the leader of some crazy Khmer cult. He can’t even talk yet and I’ll bet he could still get at least a few hundred people to call him god. Where’s the Kool-Aid son? Just say the word and I’m drinking.

Angkor what?

One day I ate a whole BBQ chicken for lunch with mango salad on the side. Just sayin.

Does anyone from Philly think this looks like a much more awesome version of Valley Forge?

Sorry General Washington, but your little wooden huts sort of suck in comparison. Why didn’t you just spend the winter at the Four Seasons downtown anyway? What an idiot.

One of the temples was in pieces after Pol Pot’s crew fucked it up and then destroyed the manuscripts that said how to fit all the pieces together. Well done jerks.

Now it’s like archeological Tetris.

Which seems sort of fun until you realize that there are Hundreds of Thousands of pieces. Good luck y’all. I’ll brew a pot of coffee for you but after that you’re on your own.

Forest Moon of Endor? Anyone?

Well that sucks.
Sounds like my first marriage. Hiyoo.

And there you have it. You may have noticed some changes to my appearance throughout these photos. In the middle I pulled the old shave-and-a-haircut routine. The good news was that it only cost me two bits.